James Part 6

James and I were still going out at night with his stealing buddy so we could make some money. I remember that we were in his friends neighborhood at the Giant grocery store(that's odd to have a "real" grocery store in the city). Anyways, the three of us were standing outside talking and getting ready to have his buddy take us back home. If you remember his buddy hated me when we first met but we were slowly starting to become friends.

While James and his buddy were loading up his car with food three black guys walked up to me and asked me for my phone number. I just smiled and said no thanks. I looked at James and his friend with my eyes pleading for some help. The guys noticed my stare and walked up to James and tried to make him look like a bitch. One of the guys said "I like your watch....give it to me." I walked over to the stealing buddy looking for some protection. I don't remember what was said after that. I remember us all getting in the car and we started chasing the guys down the road. James reached under the car seat and grabbed his buddy's gun. I was ducking down in the back seat while the guys in both cars were yelling at each other. The other guys freaked when they saw the gun and James tried to shoot at them but never took the safety off of the gun.

The other guys hauled ass when they saw the gun so they were out of site and we went home. I remember the relief I felt when we found out he did not know how to take the safety off. Me and the stealing buddy laughed the whole way home at James expense. The laughter was out of relief that nobody got hurt.

James was trying to prove to us that he was not punked out by those guys but it just made him look like an ass.

This is the world I was going to bring my baby into?

After that whole ordeal I decided to meet with my old high school counselor to see how I could get back into school to get my diploma.

I went to summer school....I needed time away from James and to lead by a good example for my baby. There was one condition for me to go back to school. I needed to finish summer school and could not miss one day. I was determined to do whatever I had to do to make things right for me and MY baby.

to be continued.........

I'm a 90's chick

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

James Part 5

I have been so busy the past couple of days and the week is getting away from me to quickly. I wanted to post this over the weekend but I have just been to busy. So here is my next James story.

I was pregnant and hoping for the best with James. I wanted to make things work. I did not want to admit that I may have made a mistake with him. I knew deep down in my heart that I would not be with him forever.

I was still working at K-mart when I found out that he was collecting other girls phone numbers. He was getting the laundry together to do while I was at work and I was helping him separate the colors from the whites when he started to hound me about cleaning out his pockets. I was being a smart ass because he said I was checking his pockets and I started to check the "watch pocket" and I found a girls phone number.

Later on I found out that it was a wrong number and he told me he only asked for the number as a bet. I let it go because it was only a number and we were together most of the time anyways.....what could he really do???

A few weeks later we went to my doctors appointment together and while he was in the waiting room (I would find out later) that he was hitting on a girl who was there and told her that he was waiting for his "pregnant sister because her boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant". Can you believe he said that? Yeah I guess you can!

I found this out from the girl we were living with after I saw this girl when James and I went out to eat one night.

James and I decided to go to Denny's one night to talk about his drug problem. He was still using and I was very emotional about the whole situation walked into Denny's to eat and I saw a girl I went to school with(the girl from the doctors office)...she was with her boyfriend and was staring me down when I walked past her. I looked at James and said "what's that bitches problem?" He just shook his head. She walked out the door with her boyfriend.

James and I had a long talk and he made promises to me about stopping his drug use and I went home that night praying that he would do the things that he said he would do.

When I got the whole story about that girl I was hurt but it was harmless....he tried to get somewhere but nothing more than lies and flirting went on. I tried to move on from this.............I had bigger problems to deal with.

to be continued..............

Next time I will tell you about the guys who were trying to talk to me in front of James and how he responded.......

MK party

I had fun at the Mary Kay party last night. My girlfriends family is a trip. I let Greg know that I was going and he was surprised that I only spend $15. I got the eye makeup remover. It should work better than the Avon one I am using now.

We had lots of food and plenty of laughs. Her family is my new adopted family.....When they saw me last night the said "hi Daw.....where's Anna? They don't even get my whole name out before they are asking where she is at. They are a crazy bunch but I love how they can all get together and have fun. I never had that with my family.

I have to spend the rest of the day getting ready for work tomorrow and cleaning the house. I also have to get back into my workout routine tomorrow. Easter is no longer my excuse. Bikini season here I come!

life is not good for "them"

I called my mother this morning and she informed me that my loving sister called my dad and stepmom to see if they want her to bring Anna over so they can see her for a little while.

Mom said that Jessica was crying when she called my stepmom to see if she could "drop Anna off for a little while." I think it is sooo funny. Jessica has ruined all of her ties with her family. She is not welcome in anyone's home. She is a thief and a liar. Since Jessica was little she could not be trusted. There are so many stories about her. She has stolen money, clothes, anything that is not tied down and even some things that are nailed down.

Jessica is not allowed around mom because she sent my stepdad to jail for child abuse. She is not allowed in my dad's house because she sent him to jail also for child abuse. She is not allowed in my house because she is married to my daughters father and she is a thief and a liar.

I guess things are not going well with Anna there but they will not call me to get her. There is no way that they will admit that they cannot handle her.

Mom told me that when she called my step-mom she told her that she knows that I keep Anna away from them so if they want to see her they can "keep" her for a couple hours. My step-mom replied by saying "If I want to see Anna I can do it myself" and she slammed the phone down on Jessica. HAHAHA!

The worst part about it all is that no one in my family really cares about Anna. My dad called on Christmas day and got Anna for the night because I was sick with the flu. They never called her on her birthday (January 16) and have not asked to see her since Christmas. I will not beg any one in my family to see her and oddly enough Anna could care less if she sees any of them. She is not dumb she knows what is going on.

Anyways, I think it is really funny that they are trying to get rid of her for the day. Oh, and believe me when I say that we will argue about this on Monday night when I pick her up at his house. I should have a good story to tell about that.

I have to go now. My girlfriend is picking me up so we can go to a Mary Kay party and her friends house. She was amazed that I would want to go because I sell Avon and she thought I would not want anything to do with "Mary Kay". It's all good though. I love home parties. I hope the host knows how to cook. The food is the best part about the parties. Now I have to con my boyfriend out of some money in case I buy something..........

this is kool! 

James Part 4

I ended up going back into the apartment when I saw my cat dangling out the window. What else was I going to do? Mom changed her phone number so I could not call her and I had no where to go. At the time I knew in my heart that I was pregnant but it was not official. We continued to spend our days in the same neighborhood where I was robbed in that house.

When my 18th birthday hit I went back to work at K-mart. We did not need the money, I just wanted to get away from the city. It actually cost us more money in taxi rides than what I was making but he made sure I got back and forth to work.

When I went back to work I met a girl who had a townhouse with an extra room . It was in the county and I talked James into letting us move in with her and her boyfriend. I could not believe he agreed to it. Of course he took a cab into the city everyday but at least we were not sleeping in motels anymore.

We were paying $50 a week to stay in the extra room. She lived on section 8 (in other words....she paid no rent) She used her 2 children to get her townhouse but her kids lived in the city with her mother. She also got money from the state for food but she never gave that to the kids either...she would buy junk food for her boyfriend who was using heroin.

Even though we were only paying $50 in rent we were always broke. James told me he was sending money to her daughters mother for child support(a lie). I found out shortly after we moved in the townhouse that I really was naive..........James was snorting heroin right in front of me at times, and I never knew it.

My girlfriend told me that her boyfriend and James were getting high together. I did not want to believe it! "Not my James! He hates people who use drugs. He told me he would never do that! His mom died from an overdose......he would NEVER do that." She told me what to look for and I started paying more attention to his actions. I would question him but never accuse him of anything. He still thought I was stupid(and I was).

The first time I said something to him was when he locked himself in the bathroom. He was in there for quite some time and I could here him "sniffing" I kept saying "what's wrong do you have a cold? You have been in there for a long time...what's wrong." He got soooo made because I would not shut up. He slammed the bathroom door open and ran me down the stairs. We screamed at each other and I left him in the house. I wanted to go for a walk without him. He ran after me and pushed me away from him. I called him a "fucking bitch" and he grabbed me by my throat and slammed me on the ground. I got up and kept walking and he ran back into the house so he could finish getting high. James was showing his true colors.

While I was out for my walk I ran into an old friend from school. He drove me to the hospital and that is where I found out officially that I was pregnant. I was not sure how to react. I was scared. I called the "stealing buddy" and told him what was going on. At first we did not like each other but I think I was growing on him. We talked about James and his drug use and we decided to have a "talk" with him.

Right around this time I started to get more of the story together about all his lies........He never had a daughter(s)(the child support money was his drug money). His mother was alive but wanted nothing to do with him and no she did not have a habit.

"stealing buddy" had a talk with James and he was going to get off the drugs and make things right for me and the baby....."our family." I even had my first doctors visit and he went with me. Things were going to work out for us. He was only mean to me because of the drugs but we were going to "fix" that problem for him.

I knew why he gave me his jewelry that day I got robbed...he was going to the corner to get his dope and did not want to get robbed. I guess he should have taken the chance and maybe he would still have it.

to be continued.............

what kind of sixties person are you?

You are a Go-Go Girl! Yay you!

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by

I am feeling good today

I saw my doctor today and I am allowed to get back into my exercise routine(lifting weights). I have been doing cardio since last week. I never listen to what doctors say(I'm so bad).

My girlfriend sent me a text message on my cell phone so I can download a screen saver that she sent to me. It's a picture of Betty Boop. She gets mad at me because she is always showing me how to do things. She is like my mom. Don't laugh at me......Two weeks ago she had to show me how to put air in my tires. I know how to do it now so HAHA! This week she has to show me how to download that screen saver onto my phone.

Last night my sister and my "baby daddy" brought Anna home but half of the clothes she took with her were not in her bag. I get so mad about this because:

1. He does not buy her clothes.
2. He should have clothes at his house for her.
3. He does not pay child support like he should...so who is going to buy her more clothes???
NOT ME!!!

I don't know how other people feel but it really bugs me when she goes somewhere and does not bring home what she takes with her. I can not be the only one who is bothered by that.

When they pick her up for spring vacation tomorrow she is only leaving the house with the clothes that she has on her back. That may be mean but I will not keep going around and around with them about what is happening to all her stuff.

Alright I am done with my bitch session now:)

Friday

I went out last night with my best friend and her husband. We went to a club in the city with some people from our gym class. I had a really good time except for the part where my "hooker boots" were killing me. We had a really good turn out we had 22 people from the gym show up last night. I even showed up for class this morning after I did my normal hangover ritual(soup and Hawaiian punch-with the picture of the little punch dude on the front of the bottle). I think the gym instructor was surprised to see me(he is the one who sets up our clubbin' night out).

My sister came by to pick Anna up late........that is normal for James. Jessica came up to the door and I was is shock.......She looks like a crack whore! I swear! I will have to get her picture so you can see how bad she looks. Life is not nice to her. We look nothing alike she has always had a look about her like she is on her death bed.

I went to www.gizoogle.com and had snoop dog translate my sister's arrival at my home:

My beyotch of a poser picked Anna up yesterday . One, two three and to tha four. The funniest part `bout it was tizzy her teeth look all messed up wit gaps she looks like a criznack whore. I guess I git tha last laugh brotha all hittin that booty.

That is so funny. If you get a chance go to the site and look around. They have funny pictures also. Let me know what you think.

One more thing before I go. In the top right on my page there is a box with the letter W.I.E. Please click on that box and enter in your information. When people visit my blog they will see your name when you are logged onto my site and they can link onto your site from mine. I was able to do this with the help of http://hitthejagspot.blogspot.com thanks to her help I now have the W.I.E up and running.

the house is to quiet

Anna is spending the weekend with her father and my sister. The house is so quiet it's strange and I am not use to this. I have not received any calls from them so hopefully they are doing ok. I will have to give them a call a little later this afternoon just to check up on them.

I know that I have not posted in a few days, but after my last post I needed to take a break. My mind has been drifting away to all the drama in my past. If you were to meet me in person you would never guess what type of things I have been through or seen........I will post another James story so you can understand the present situation.

James Part 3

Wow~there are too many parts to this story......but I want you to understand why I hate him soooo much.

James and I met up in a Wal-mart parking lot. The store was closed because it was Easter. We took a taxi to the train and headed into the city. We stayed in a sleazy motel "until our apartment was ready to move into." At this time the only lie that I knew about was that he was not 20 yrs olds he was 23. If I had known this when we first met I never would have given him a chance. I thought that it was bad enough that he was twenty and I was seventeen. He told me this nice piece of information while we were on the train after I ran away from home(nice timing hu?)

We were in the motel and I was worried because he was not going into work and I thought that we would need the money. He told me he was taking sick time(my ass). He was going out with his buddy stealing and selling to the pawn shops for our money. He never had a ligit job.

After two days his stealing buddy who is old enough to be my dad wanted to get me out of the picture and talked me into calling my mom. I decided to make the call to at least let her know that I was alive. That bitch changed her number in less than 3 days.

Ok here comes the stupid part........I lost my virginity to James after the 3rd night of being an "adult" and on my own and one month to the day of my 18th birthday. It was just me, james and the world. I guess I thought that I owed it to him(earn my keep type of thing). I was stupid! I know that now.

Soon after that I found out that he had no job and he lied about the apartment. Our home was the motel. We paid by the week so we could keep the same room. Our days were spent in a very bad part of Baltimore....Abandoned townhomes and all. James and I were the only white faces in the neighborhood except for the police. I was stopped in the neighborhood by the police because I was white and in a "black" neighborhood. I am not sure if you ever watched "the corner" on HBO but that was the neighborhood we spent our days in. After 6pm we could be found in various malls or shopping centers while him and his buddy made money so we could survive.

I remember staying in an apartment that belonged to his stealing buddy's girlfriend. We looked after her place while she was locked up. We stayed on the third floor. James bought me a black kitten for my birthday and I loved it. When we were in the apartment is when I first found out my period was late and I knew that I was pregnant.

Things were not going well with us. James was stressing and I just wanted to go home. This was not the real world that I wanted to be a part of. James had friends with no real names.....we knew a poochie, apples, pappa daddy, apple jacks, panther, baby C, lil g man, seven, doc.......The only person I met with a real name was his stealing buddy(who hated me).

When things really started to sour was a week before my 18th birthday. James had bought me my cat. I was craving really nasty things like strawberry icecream with sour cream and onion chips and pickles(I would pour the pickle juice in the ice cream) EWWWW.............Now remember that I was very young a naive at this time but not for long.

I was sitting on the couch in his friends house playing with one of his friends babies. James went for a walk and gave me all his jewelry to hold onto. The baby was reaching for the jewelry an di was teasing him with it. The door to the house was open like most of the townhomes in the city. In the summer people hang out on the steps and the doors are always open. My back was to the door and this boy saw the door open and came into the house to steal the clothes that James had stolen to sell on the street. The clothes were in plain view to people on the outside. When the guy ran into the house to steal the clothes and when he looked back he saw the jewelry. I had been introduced to so many different people I though James knew him and was playing a game.

He walked up to me(I was on the phone with a very close friend~Chris)and tried to grab the jewelry from me. I pulled it back away from him and said "stop playing". I felt what I though was a fingernail(it was a knife)at my throat. He got very angry because I pulled it back from him and he punched me in my face(hard). The phone never left my ear. Chris could hear everything that was going on but he had no idea how bad it was. As he punched me he said "bitch does it look like I'm playing?" I will never forget those words. I let go of the jewelry. I was in shock....I told Chris "I think I have to go" and I hung up the phone.

After the initial shock I started crying and ran upstairs.....just than James walked into the house. One of the girls who lived in that house was trying to make me stand still. My face blew up....you could see the my face changing colors. They though I should go to the hospital but I didn't.

James walked up the steps after someone else told him what happened to his jewelry and to me. That bastard walked up the steps and yelled at me because I gave someone his precious jewelry. I screamed back at him. Everyone was yelling. His friends were mad because he only cared about himself.

We walked half way to our temporary apartment screaming at each other and my face swollen and tears streaming.........we took a cab after we walked half the way home.

I got my stuff together to leave. I walked out of the apartment to get something to eat and he was standing at the window on the 3rd floor with my poor kitten hanging out the window. He was going to kill my kitten over his stolen jewelry.

This was going to be the father of my child? What did I get myself into?

I walked back up the stairs and he left my kitten alone.

The danger flag was up..........I should have pushed HIM out the window!

to be continued......................

I'm an exotic dancer barbie...what are you?

You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by

James Part 2

Our relationship was nothing like what I had with any of my other boyfriends. Most of the boys I dated came in and out of my life when ever they felt like it. That was fine by me I had my space and they had theirs. James was over my house all the time. I remember that we went out somewhere(I think we went to the circus or tried to)and he came back home with me to make sure I got in ok. I invited him in and my mom was asleep because she worked early in the morning and we watched TV. I remember waking up and my mother being very upset because he was still there at 7am. We fell asleep. It was an accident on my part. He knew what he was doing. Nothing happened I swear!

Mom really did not like him after that little episode. Oh I guess I should tell you about what a money hungry bitch my mother is.........I paid her at the age of 16 for the basement room. I did not want to share my room with my sister. Mom did not pay for any thing I had. I had 2 job's and paid my own way. She got over $500.00 a month from me for the basement room.

James was always there with me. We could not be separated. Mom was always working so she had no clue what was going on and could care less. I guess you can say that James was living with me in my basement room. Mom got up one morning and came to say something to me and James was laying on the floor.......she stepped on him......she started screaming and called my dad. Oh boy I was in some trouble. My dad dragged me out of work and called the cops on me. I went with the cops I did not want any part of my parents. I know I was wrong but so were they. We have all had a pretty rocky past. I just wanted to get out of my parents house.

It was Easter and it was just us kids at home, mom was at work and she took all the phones out of the house so I could not call James. (good thing there was not a fire) James had my pager so I had my brother Paul go to a friends house to page him so he could drop some money off to me and get his belonging from my home.

When James arrived about 30 seconds later Paul and Jessica started screaming that they saw my dad's car. James ran out of my house and I followed him. My dad tried to hit me and him with his car as we were running. We ran into the woods and went into different directions. We would meet in a few hours and start my journey away from my parents and into a world I had no clue about.

I was so stupid and naive and thought that he would not lie to me. I mean really we were young what would he have to lie to me about? He was pretty honest from the beginning. He told me he just broke up with his girlfriend minus the part about her being pregnant. He did not know at the time. He told me about his "twin daughters" by a girl who lived in Philadelphia. He told me that he was in the city with his girls and they were shot at during a drive by shooting. His one daughter was shot and killed on the scene. He told me he was able to save one daughter but not both. He told me that he was 20 years old. He told me he had a blue jeep in the shop being worked on, he had a job at a pawn shop, and he had an apartment for us to move into on April first(I was going to wait until May when I would be 18). He also told me about his mother and how she died when he was younger from a drug overdose~he basically told me she was a crack whore.

The above list of things he told me were all lies he told me in our first month together:

LIE#1: He never had twin daughters.....he never had a daughter.....I will explain the reason for this lie a little later on.

LIE#2: He was 23 years old

LIE#3: He never had a car, jeep, truck, or motorcycle......the only thing he had was a bus pass

LIE#4: The only thing he ever did for the pawn shop was sell them stolen goods....I guess he thought that meant that he was working for them

LIE#5: There was no apartment...when he was not sleeping at my house he stayed in a crack house with a bunch of losers

LIE#6: His mother and I has several conversations in my last month of pregnancy and she called me when I was in the hospital after Anna was born. I have never met her but she was very sweet to me over the phone. Just in case you are wondering she was not a crack whore.

OK I think that covers the first month of lies.

I still remember when he told me that he hustled for a living. What does hustle mean? I had no clue! I was a girl from the county and he was truly from the city. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I would soon find out.

I know you are going to hate me for this but....................

to be continued.................

James Part 1

I want to explain the situation with Anna's father. I met him when I was 17. I was working in a local mall at a small toy store. He came into the store and started flirting with me and asked for my number. He was cute so I gave him my number. I found out later on that he was in the store trying to keep me occupied while his "stealing buddy" was in the back room of our store stealing some playstation's that were damaged in the back of our store. HAHA! I guess the joke was on them or who ever they sold them to because they did not work.

Anyways, James called me a month later after I saw him in the store again and his girlfriend was with him in the mall(that's the type of guy he is). I did not know he had a pregnant girlfriend at the time. He had called me that night and we set up a movie date for that weekend.

I had to work the day we were going to go out and he was going to pick me up from work. I also had another job working at K-mart as a cashier. I remember getting a phone call from by brother Billy who was home with the twins(Jessica~my slut sister and Paul). Our conversation was something like this:

ME:Hello
BILLY:Dawn.......
ME:This better be good, I am working. You are going to get me in trouble.
BILLY:(speaking very quickly)Paul was hit by a car on______(main road entered here)he was taken to the hospital by ambulance but is ok. I just thought I would let you know. Bye.(he hangs up the phone)
ME:(Speechless)....................

I did not know what to say. I don't even remember what happened after that. I know that another guy I was dating at the time picked me up from work and took me to the hospital to see Paul.

Mom was at work also and did not know what happened until later. My dad was at the hospital and I was so mad when I got there and Paul was sitting up like nothing had happened. He was 9 yrs old at the time and should not have been out like he was. He ran in front of a car and she did not see him in time to stop. I remember her talking to my mom and she was so upset. She was pregnant and we were worried about her and the baby. Her nerves must have been shot. (that is not the only stupid thing my brother has ever done-trust me there is more)

I remember that we all went home and there was nothing left for us to do for Paul because he was home and fine. James had called me and was more upset that I stood him up than he was concerned about my brother. He made me feel bad that I made him take a $20 taxi to meet me for a date that I stood him up for.

Paul was ok so I meet James for the movie. We had an nice date and he was kinda cute. I brought him home to meet mom. Mom was tired of meeting my dates because I was constantly meeting new guys and she could not keep them straight. I was 17 what did she expect?

So this is the start of my story about James..........

To be continued.....................

"the call"

I got a call from my sister Jessica today. I guess the trip I took to the block last week did what I wanted it to. I wanted my sister to take my daughter for the weekend. Anna needs James (her father) in her life. Maybe she will see that the way they live is not the way that she wants her life to be. Anna's father is a thief and lies about everything. He has in the past been addicted to heroin. I can see Anna following his footsteps and I do not want that to happen. I know that he is doing better now. The only fault that I have with him now is that he does not pay his child support and that he is married to my sister(they deserve each other).

Jessica wanted me to go out to the strip club she works at so we could go "hang out". I am not sure why she thinks that I want to be her friend. She did tell me that James was locked up for non payment of child support.......FINALLY I GET JUSTICE!!! I checked on the computer and they have not sent a check out yet but the credit is showing on his account. Now he "only" owes $6,900. My sister is raising his son for him while he works. I guess he don't work hard enough for me to get child support on a regular basis.

I told Jessica that she can get Anna next weekend for the whole weekend. I need some free time and they need to start taking responsibility for her. I did get there phone number and address so I can make sure child support has his correct information. I am also going to make a letter to send to child support once a week when I do not get a check. I will bug child support so much that they will have to take action about him not paying his support.

ghetto barbie 

I don't want my "dream job" after all

I had my boyfriend drive me to my interview and I must say that he could not have been to happy about it but he never showed it. He sat out in his truck for over an hour while I took a tour of the work space and had my interview.

When I walked in I was greeted by one of only 3 people that work in that area. The position I was interviewed for was an archivist position and I was given a tour while another girl was being interviewed. I am not to thrilled about this job anymore. Twice a day they want me to walk two blocks to another building to drop samples off to doctors that request them. I am not to keen on the thought of walking in all types of weather in the middle of the ghetto by myself.

I know the area and it is not safe. (When I was 17 and living with my daughters father I was robbed and punched in my face while I was sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He just walked into the house and took what he wanted.)

I have thought this through and I want to leave my current job but not that badly. I will keep looking but this position is not the right one for me. I guess it will all work out in the end.

Betty Boop pic 

Betty Boop

I love Betty Boop! I have so many Betty Boop toys. I have a water fountain and snow globes. I also have several sweatshirt with her.

I have a black winter coat with Betty Boop on the back of it and red kisses that go down the sleeve's of the coat. I get lots of compliment on it. I bought it when I was in Connecticut dancing at some clubs up there.

I found a store in the local mall that had leather coats with every cartoon character that you can imagine. The guy behind the counter was to busy flirting with me and my girlfriend and quoted me a price on my jacket that was $100 less than what he should have charged me. I got a great deal on my coat, and he got in trouble from his boss for the deal he game me.

I lost a lot of my Betty Boop stuff because I use to move every 6 months before I met my current boyfriend. I put a lot of money into my collection. I need to do some shopping this summer to try to get back some of what I have lost in my collection.

just another day

Today was my first day back to work after my surgery and I need a vacation from work already. Nothing bad happened just the same old shit. While I was gone last week 3 guys I work with went on leave from work due to problems with their heart. I swear that place is a death trap.

My mind has been going crazy worrying about my interview on Wed. I want this job so bad. It is my dream job. I just wish that my boyfriend would be as excited as I am. I did talk him into driving my to interview Wed. I do not want to have my car break down on me in the city.

There is not to much to say tonight. I will write back to tomorrow.

Best form of exercise

I am trying to talk my boyfriend into the purchase of a stripper pole. He just kind of rolls his eyes at the thought of it. They say that this pole can be moved and taken down. It can put it in our bedroom, and the kids don't go in there for anything so I don't see any problem with it. It's a great form of exercise and I can dance for him in our bedroom. Don't most guys dream of that? Anyways, I will try to talk him into it this weekend and see if I can get him to break down and buy it for me. Wish me luck!

stripper pole and carrying case 

stripper pole

The Lil’ Mynx Pro Pole is a 2-piece stationary design with a handy carrying case for use from 8 to 10 foot ceilings. The accessories included are bolted ceiling mount, friction ceiling mount, non-skid floor pad, stud finder and tape measure. This pole is fully portable! The seam in the center of the pole has a machine polished finish and is smooth to the touch. The center adapter is machined billet aluminum for strength and durability.

that's all I have to say about that!

Friday

God I really hope it does not snow this weekend! I have had enough of the snow and the kids being home from school. The weather man says that we will have snow flurries this weekend. They are normally wrong I just hope this time they are wrong in my favor and not the kids.

My friend got out of work early today so she came over to take a ride into the city with me. I wanted to take a test run to a hospital that I have an interview at on Wed. I am excited it is the main job that I have been trying to get into. The only problem's that it is right in the middle of the ghetto. I know the area very well but have not been down there since I was with my daughters father almost 9 years ago. I can't belive I put myself into that danger back then. I can tell you some stories about that time of my life that would make your skin crawl........................

Anyways, We did the test run and then we went to the old club that we use to work at a few years ago. When we go out in the city we usually stop in to a few of the clubs to see how the owners and the girls that we know are doing. It is amazing how some things never change down there. We use to work on the not-so "famous block" in Baltimore.

The block is just like is sounds. It is a block of strip clubs. It use to go for many, many, many blocks but now it is only one block and a side street of many strip clubs. We know all the clubs in and out. What clubs allow what, which one is the best to make money in, where the best looking girls are at........I could go on and on. The best thing about our trips to the block is the reminder that we left and we don't have to go back. There are bum's on every corner, all the door men look like they are high on something and most of them are sooo dirty it does not make you want to even step inside to see what may be lurking behind the doorway. We saw a handwritten note on a door in front of one of the clubs that read "no refunds-you must buy a drink" it makes you wonder what may be behind that door waiting on you(scary), why would someone ask for a refund? Anyone who has been to "the block" in Baltimore should know what I am talking about.

It was an interesting outing and we will do it again when the weather gets warmer.

It's official I am 76% slut

I took this test and it is official I am 76% slut

The Results ARE IN! You are:
76% Slut
Your above score was normalized against the average, so don't even TRY to disagree with us. Science is certain, and so are we: you are absolutely 76% Slutty.Scored by OkCupid.com, free online dating: www.okcupid.comWe are also the Inventors of SparkNotes and TheSpark.com.

True or False

Bold items are true.

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car
I’ve Never Been To Japan
I’ve Never Been In A Taxi
I’ve Never Been In Love
I’ve Never Had Sex In Public
I’ve Never Been Dumped
I’ve Never Done Cocaine
I’ve Never Shoplifted
I’ve Never Been Fired
I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse
I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parents’ House
I’ve Never Been Tied Up
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I’ve Never Been Arrested
*maybe I am not such a good girl after all:(
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger
I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date
I’ve Never Lied To A Friend
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I’ve Never Been To Europe
I’ve Never Skipped School
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office
I’ve Never Been Married
I’ve Never Been Divorced
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
I’ve Never Posed Nude
*does that means all my clothes were off?
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I’ve Never Killed Anyone
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
I’ve Never Eaten Sushi
I’ve Never Been Snowboarding
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online

fat days are ahead

I can not work out the end of this month. I have 25lbs that I want to lose and can not do any workouts for a month after my surgery. I have my doctors appointment schd. for March 21 so I hope that she will tell me it is OK to work out when I see her.

My plan to try to get my self ready for the summer is to cut out all the soda and salt. So far I am not doing to well with that. If I can get my eating habits in check than I may be able to hit my goal weight by summer time. I will also keep a food diary so I can keep track of my progress.

Goals to accomplish by March 15th.

1. No soda
2. No salt
3. Keep a food/workout diary
4. Drink lot's of water (that won't be a problem)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK now that I have that I have my goal written down I hope that they will be harder to break.

I have been on a few interviews and I have not had any luck. I realize that I make pretty good money and it is going to be hard to have to start benefits with another company. I am still looking for something in the medical field I am just not in a rush to leave my current job. I got a new title now and things are a little bit better for me. I will keep looking and enjoy my new job until it is time to move on to a better job.

I am going to get ready to go out. Greg and I are going to go shopping and and have a nice quiet lunch together.