Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have been busy again...yep, that's the story of my life. Today is the start of my vacation. I do not have off on "black Friday" but there is not really a sale that I need to fight for so I will do my shopping after Friday. Besides that, I have already started my Christmas shopping for Anna and my honeys birthday is right around the corner so I need to worry about that before Christmas anyways.

I was thinking about shopping for him's just cold outside and I don't want to go out in it...I hate the cold but I guess that's what I get for living in Maryland. I have a few ideas of what to purchase for him but if anyone has any ideas I am open to them. I hate shopping for's hard because he is pickier than a woman but won't admit if he does not like something. I could always go shopping a Victoria Secret for myself ;)

The good news is that I think we are all ready for Thanksgiving that is one thing that is positive. Are you ready for the holiday? Are you staying home or going somewhere else to eat....or both? No matter what you do have a Happy Thanksgiving and a safe "black Friday" if you go out.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

James Part 16

I know that it has been awhile since my last James post and I am here is another James post and if you have no idea what I am talking about you can check out the other 15 post here. Sometimes the James posts can bring me down but I got a promotion at work today and I will be making a lot more money so I am VERY happy not even a James post can bring me down today!

for your reading enjoyment here is post #16.......

Well, James and I were living in the motel again and I was busy trying to complete school and making visits to lawyers for legal advised. I did not have the money to get a lawyer to fight my parents. I was not allowed to see Anna. This was not what we needed in our life right now. I wanted to make things easy on James because I did not want him to turn away from me again or start getting high. He was clean after being in jail for three months and this was going to be our new start, a new beginning as a family. We had a future together James, myself and Anna but I was missing the most important part… daughter!!!

How could this happen. Even to this day nobody believes that the courts could allow that to happen but it did. We went through three judges before one judge decided that he was going to see my case through. He made the decision that he was going to take my case and make sure that Anna was going to be with me under the condition that he could see proof that we had a home to take Anna to and not a motel. It was understandable but I had been looking for a place to live for a year and we still had no home to call our own. While we were looking for a place to live I could not keep up with that and all the emotional stress and I dropped out of school. I could not keep up. It was the worst decision in my life but I had other priorities and I was going back and forth to court every week. Our court date was Monday morning. Every week it was the same. The date never changed and I saw the same judge every time I went to the court house. It was nice to have a judge that knew the situation so that helped a little bit and to know that he was on my side as long as we got a place to live.

It was a little hard at first to find a place to live because I was living at home and was kicked out with nothing….again! My parents love to do that to me….leave me with nothing so I have to crawl back to them for help. Anyways, James talked to the owners of a Chinese food restaurant because above the restaurant they had apartments for rent. This was out ticket. James and I signed a lease and started to move in. We lived right next door to the motel that we were living in but who cared….we were gonna get our baby back! I took pictures and was ready for court that Monday. I still have some of the pictures that we took. It was a nice apartment and I was gonna get Anna back! Life was perfect.

We went to the courthouse and had the lease agreement and the pictures that the judge requested. My parents were pissed!!! It made me feel good. We were ready to pick Anna up from my mothers but they made it difficult and we had to pick her up from my fathers house. They did that on purpose and made me wait until late that night to get her. I did not really care because I won the battle. James was by my side during the fight and was there for every single court case. Most people would say….”so what, that is what he is suppose to do” but we all know what an ass James is so this was a big deal to me. We picked Anna up that night and took her home…that was such a nice word “home” I had a home and a family!

I started a new job at a convince store. James was watching Anna while I was working and he would go out at night with his “stealing buddy” I could not change that. There was no way that I could change that part of him. We needed money and my working at a local convince store was not going to pay the rent. I remember that I came home from lunch one day and saw his buddy “Doc” he was a junkie…I knew that we were going on a downhill cycle from here. I knew when I saw him that James was up to no good and I had to make some changes fast! I hated my job but I worked until I could find something else.

I remember that my mother was upset about not getting to see Anna she said that she knew that I would keep Anna form her. I guess I should have but my response was “I could never hold Anna from you like you did to me. I am not hate hateful.” I was stupid and let them still see her. Not unsupervised but I let my guard down. I should have walked away then and never looked back! The things that they did keep replaying in my mind. The court paperwork that was filled out against me said that I kept Anna in dirty diapers for 3 - 4 days…anyone who has a baby knows that that is not even possible…it would have fell off her body and the paperwork also requested that I stay away from my mothers home address and that she get custody of Anna because I was drinking and on drugs. All of these things were lies and I had paperwork from hospitals that would vouch for me not being on drugs. I went to a hospital right after I lost Anna for a complication with my birth control and they did a drug test on me then. I went to Johns Hopkins and that hospital is horrible (if you ever go to the emergency room) they think everyone is on drugs and gave me a drug test to prove that I was not on drugs….I hated that place.

So, I had this problem with James and I was outside using the pay phone until the local phone company could set us up with a phone. Anna was not home at the time she was with James and I had to get ready to go to work. I heard two girls talking behind me and making a comment that “she could make money…not as much as us but she has potential” I got off the pay phone and started to walk home. The girls stopped me and asked me if I wanted to make some extra money……..

to be continued…………………

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I need more closet space

A picture is worth a thousand words and that is a good thing because I do not feel like writing about anything today. This is a picture of my hall closet it just has extra shoes and purses in it because there is no where else to place them at this time.