now what

So, my school classes have started now and I am not sure what to do now. I love to learn but I hate to write and I hate to read something and try to understand it the same way my whole class understands it. I want to read something and take something personal away from it...yes I am greedy, I don't want to share my feelings with others. Please just leave me alone and not have to dissect some writers meaning when they may not have wanted me to try to understand every single word that was written. Am I alone on this? Now I have to write about a group or a team on was on in my youth and tell about how great we were and all the wonderful that we did for the community.....does dropping out of school to run with Anna's father and live a life of lies, stealing, drugs and pregnancy fit in there somewhere.....what about when my mom was drinking all night with her friends "the local bar sluts" and I had to stay home with my brothers and sisters and watch all her friends kids at the same time. I was running a all night daycare at age 12 and people wonder why I am all fucked up these days....hmph!

not yet

Well, my mother never made it to the 6th floor. She is back home again and I guess she is fine for right now. I am doing well. I work today but have the next 4 days off. I am getting a body wrap as a birthday present tomorrow...that should be fun. I start school classes on Monday and My new work schd. starts in 2 weeks.

I feel good today. I went for a 3 mile walk today and I feel good. I only know it's 3 miles because it is a trail that I walked on and there are markers. It was nice to walk outdoors for a change. I have something I have to do in a few min and then it is off to the gym for some real workout time.

I hope you all are doing well and I will catch up with everyone tomorrow and add some people to my links and take a few off. Time to make some changes around here.

6th floor

My mom is still in the hospital and we have this running joke that she will be moved to the 6th floor when she is ready to die. See the last time my mom was in the hospital she was told that her roommate was going to be moved to the 6th floor so her family could have more room. They were really moving the woman so she could die in a room surrounded by friends and family and not a roommate. The woman was 97 years old and ready to let go...it was her time.

When my mom told me this I told her that she will know if she is in trouble because the doctors will move her to the 6th floor. At the time she was on the second floor. Since we had that talk she was released from the hospital and is back now. This time she is on the 3rd floor...she is moving up. This is our "joke" she does not have many lives left.

On a real note, I was a good daughter and called her in the hospital to wish her a "happy mothers day".....no I love you's were said but I was nice. She in not doing well...in December she was in the hospital with 3 heart attacks....I am not sure what has happened from December till April but I can tell you that in the last week and a half she has been in the hospital twice....and they have been overnite stays. She has fluid around her heart and lungs and is having problem walking without becoming short of breath. She also has diabetes. I am really concerned with the health problems in my family and I need to take better care of myself. My grandfather had high blood pressure and died from a heart attack and my grandmother had breast cancer and so did her mother. I feel like I am doomed.

My mother is taking this well....she does not want to worry about the diabetes..just one thing at a time. She is not really changing her eating habits. She has always been one to have lots of salt and greasy foods. That will never change and we are all aware of that. I guess we should worry if the next time they take her to the 4th floor..........

I'm baaack

I guess I am back kinda sorta in a way....My Birthday was Tuesday the 9th and I had so many Birthday wishes. I did work overtime so that was a little crazy but I'm ok. Mothers day is tomrrow and my mother is in the Emergency room because she can not breath. This is her second trip in a week and I am getting myslef prepared for the worst. I am not sure how to take it. I know is is near.....she is not doing well at all. I guess I should contact her tomorrow to wish her a Happy Mothers Day because she did wish me a Happy Birthday.

I hope ya'll are doing well. Leave me a comment so I know if anyone is still coming by....I need to feel loved ;)