James Part 4

I ended up going back into the apartment when I saw my cat dangling out the window. What else was I going to do? Mom changed her phone number so I could not call her and I had no where to go. At the time I knew in my heart that I was pregnant but it was not official. We continued to spend our days in the same neighborhood where I was robbed in that house.

When my 18th birthday hit I went back to work at K-mart. We did not need the money, I just wanted to get away from the city. It actually cost us more money in taxi rides than what I was making but he made sure I got back and forth to work.

When I went back to work I met a girl who had a townhouse with an extra room . It was in the county and I talked James into letting us move in with her and her boyfriend. I could not believe he agreed to it. Of course he took a cab into the city everyday but at least we were not sleeping in motels anymore.

We were paying $50 a week to stay in the extra room. She lived on section 8 (in other words....she paid no rent) She used her 2 children to get her townhouse but her kids lived in the city with her mother. She also got money from the state for food but she never gave that to the kids either...she would buy junk food for her boyfriend who was using heroin.

Even though we were only paying $50 in rent we were always broke. James told me he was sending money to her daughters mother for child support(a lie). I found out shortly after we moved in the townhouse that I really was naive..........James was snorting heroin right in front of me at times, and I never knew it.

My girlfriend told me that her boyfriend and James were getting high together. I did not want to believe it! "Not my James! He hates people who use drugs. He told me he would never do that! His mom died from an overdose......he would NEVER do that." She told me what to look for and I started paying more attention to his actions. I would question him but never accuse him of anything. He still thought I was stupid(and I was).

The first time I said something to him was when he locked himself in the bathroom. He was in there for quite some time and I could here him "sniffing" I kept saying "what's wrong do you have a cold? You have been in there for a long time...what's wrong." He got soooo made because I would not shut up. He slammed the bathroom door open and ran me down the stairs. We screamed at each other and I left him in the house. I wanted to go for a walk without him. He ran after me and pushed me away from him. I called him a "fucking bitch" and he grabbed me by my throat and slammed me on the ground. I got up and kept walking and he ran back into the house so he could finish getting high. James was showing his true colors.

While I was out for my walk I ran into an old friend from school. He drove me to the hospital and that is where I found out officially that I was pregnant. I was not sure how to react. I was scared. I called the "stealing buddy" and told him what was going on. At first we did not like each other but I think I was growing on him. We talked about James and his drug use and we decided to have a "talk" with him.

Right around this time I started to get more of the story together about all his lies........He never had a daughter(s)(the child support money was his drug money). His mother was alive but wanted nothing to do with him and no she did not have a habit.

"stealing buddy" had a talk with James and he was going to get off the drugs and make things right for me and the baby....."our family." I even had my first doctors visit and he went with me. Things were going to work out for us. He was only mean to me because of the drugs but we were going to "fix" that problem for him.

I knew why he gave me his jewelry that day I got robbed...he was going to the corner to get his dope and did not want to get robbed. I guess he should have taken the chance and maybe he would still have it.

to be continued.............