Tuesday, March 15, 2005

James Part 3

Wow~there are too many parts to this story......but I want you to understand why I hate him soooo much.

James and I met up in a Wal-mart parking lot. The store was closed because it was Easter. We took a taxi to the train and headed into the city. We stayed in a sleazy motel "until our apartment was ready to move into." At this time the only lie that I knew about was that he was not 20 yrs olds he was 23. If I had known this when we first met I never would have given him a chance. I thought that it was bad enough that he was twenty and I was seventeen. He told me this nice piece of information while we were on the train after I ran away from home(nice timing hu?)

We were in the motel and I was worried because he was not going into work and I thought that we would need the money. He told me he was taking sick time(my ass). He was going out with his buddy stealing and selling to the pawn shops for our money. He never had a ligit job.

After two days his stealing buddy who is old enough to be my dad wanted to get me out of the picture and talked me into calling my mom. I decided to make the call to at least let her know that I was alive. That bitch changed her number in less than 3 days.

Ok here comes the stupid part........I lost my virginity to James after the 3rd night of being an "adult" and on my own and one month to the day of my 18th birthday. It was just me, james and the world. I guess I thought that I owed it to him(earn my keep type of thing). I was stupid! I know that now.

Soon after that I found out that he had no job and he lied about the apartment. Our home was the motel. We paid by the week so we could keep the same room. Our days were spent in a very bad part of Baltimore....Abandoned townhomes and all. James and I were the only white faces in the neighborhood except for the police. I was stopped in the neighborhood by the police because I was white and in a "black" neighborhood. I am not sure if you ever watched "the corner" on HBO but that was the neighborhood we spent our days in. After 6pm we could be found in various malls or shopping centers while him and his buddy made money so we could survive.

I remember staying in an apartment that belonged to his stealing buddy's girlfriend. We looked after her place while she was locked up. We stayed on the third floor. James bought me a black kitten for my birthday and I loved it. When we were in the apartment is when I first found out my period was late and I knew that I was pregnant.

Things were not going well with us. James was stressing and I just wanted to go home. This was not the real world that I wanted to be a part of. James had friends with no real names.....we knew a poochie, apples, pappa daddy, apple jacks, panther, baby C, lil g man, seven, doc.......The only person I met with a real name was his stealing buddy(who hated me).

When things really started to sour was a week before my 18th birthday. James had bought me my cat. I was craving really nasty things like strawberry icecream with sour cream and onion chips and pickles(I would pour the pickle juice in the ice cream) EWWWW.............Now remember that I was very young a naive at this time but not for long.

I was sitting on the couch in his friends house playing with one of his friends babies. James went for a walk and gave me all his jewelry to hold onto. The baby was reaching for the jewelry an di was teasing him with it. The door to the house was open like most of the townhomes in the city. In the summer people hang out on the steps and the doors are always open. My back was to the door and this boy saw the door open and came into the house to steal the clothes that James had stolen to sell on the street. The clothes were in plain view to people on the outside. When the guy ran into the house to steal the clothes and when he looked back he saw the jewelry. I had been introduced to so many different people I though James knew him and was playing a game.

He walked up to me(I was on the phone with a very close friend~Chris)and tried to grab the jewelry from me. I pulled it back away from him and said "stop playing". I felt what I though was a fingernail(it was a knife)at my throat. He got very angry because I pulled it back from him and he punched me in my face(hard). The phone never left my ear. Chris could hear everything that was going on but he had no idea how bad it was. As he punched me he said "bitch does it look like I'm playing?" I will never forget those words. I let go of the jewelry. I was in shock....I told Chris "I think I have to go" and I hung up the phone.

After the initial shock I started crying and ran upstairs.....just than James walked into the house. One of the girls who lived in that house was trying to make me stand still. My face blew up....you could see the my face changing colors. They though I should go to the hospital but I didn't.

James walked up the steps after someone else told him what happened to his jewelry and to me. That bastard walked up the steps and yelled at me because I gave someone his precious jewelry. I screamed back at him. Everyone was yelling. His friends were mad because he only cared about himself.

We walked half way to our temporary apartment screaming at each other and my face swollen and tears streaming.........we took a cab after we walked half the way home.

I got my stuff together to leave. I walked out of the apartment to get something to eat and he was standing at the window on the 3rd floor with my poor kitten hanging out the window. He was going to kill my kitten over his stolen jewelry.

This was going to be the father of my child? What did I get myself into?

I walked back up the stairs and he left my kitten alone.

The danger flag was up..........I should have pushed HIM out the window!

to be continued......................


Blogger scrappintwinmom said...

Wow. I can't wait to hear what happens next...
I too spent many years with a waste like James...I blinked and 7 years went by. Part of me is sorry I didn't walk sooner, but part of me knows that I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for the things I've experienced. Thanks for stopping by my place. Sending you peace & contentment..

2:32 PM  
Blogger Trashman said...

Incredible story.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Rebky said...

I have been reading your James story today... Hell "I" hate him!!!And I'm really pissed that your mother didn't take better care of you Dawn, I mean BEFORE James ever show'd up even...

I"d make sure Anna stay'd away from these people as much as possible. Maybe alot has changed by now, I realize I'm reading a story from the past point of view. And yet it takes nothing short of plastic surgery for a leopard to change his spots. I'm hanging on your last words here... and hoping things get better, so give us another chapter!

10:32 AM  
Blogger Johnnie Walker said...

Although I am dying to read the next installment, I must say that I am glad that you did not die in the making of this story...

7:13 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I feel that he has helped me be a better person today and I will not let people walk all over me.

Thanks so much for your comment

You don't even know the hallf of it when it comes to my mother.

Thanks for stopping by. When your younger you have no fear(I guess):)

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Paul said...

I realy lack anything to say.. I am only happy to hear that you are at this time okay and that you look at this now as an opportunity of growth for you as a person. Thank you for sharing what must have been a truly difficult time in your life.


9:43 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Hi Dawn, I'm here from Michele's.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this to get to where you are now. I'll be back for more of the story.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Thanks for stopping by. I am really thankful that I did go through all of this with James because it really opend my eyes up to the world around me.

I am glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for your comment

12:14 PM  
Blogger vegemiterules said...

G'day Dawn, what a horrible life journey to get to where you are now. As bad as what it was, it has made the person that you are today and shows that you are a survivor. I will be back.

12:31 PM  

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