Saturday, February 04, 2006

sister love

I have always been there for my sister Jessica. I have always thought of myself as a good sister...almost like a mother to her and she has betrayed me like no sister should ever do to their sister. When we were growing up I have always been there. Even when she has hurt me I have always been there to pick her up off the ground.

Don't get me wrong...we do fight....I have punched her and I have also threatened to hit her with an aluminum baseball bat. I know that this is not normal behavior but if you were there you might understand. Jessica has broken into a safe and stolen my rent money. Jessica has disobey rules and I was always the one that mom would call on to put her in line.

I am 6 years older then Jessica and that is a major responsibility. You can say that I have raised Jessica since she was 7 years old. I was the only person that placed rules for her, I am the only one who would listen, I am the only who who would punish, I am the only one to really tell her how it is. I felt sorry for her I wanted to protect her because I was the oldest sister, I wanted a little sister and I got her. I knew all the bad things that were going on with my parents and I tried to help.

I had to grow up so fast. My mother was a fucking drunk bar slut and I am the one that everyone looks down on because I use to strip. (so what!) I did what I had to do. I am now in the most perfect job. I have a loving husband and I am finally away from family and doing well for myself.

Jessica stayed with me many times while she was under my mothers care. She lived with me for the summer's while I was dancing. She was kicked out of my mothers home and stayed with me and Anna until I got my dad to take her home with him. She was doing well until she could not get her way and she left my dad's and got him arrested for child abuse. Even after all of that I still had her move in with me. I went to court with Jessica and got temporary custody of her so she could be enrolled in school and love with me.

Jessica decided that school was not for her and she did not go. She left my care and decided to run the streets. I lost touch with her but not for long. My mother found her and stayed in touch with her to make Jessica find James so he could take Anna from me. Jessica turned against me. She ended living in James car that was parked outside of my mothers home because she would not let Jessica stay in her home.

When Jessica asked my mother for money for food she told Jessica to rob someone if she was that hungry....she did.

Jessica tried to rob 2 people one person was a little old lady that beat Jessica off with her purse. (I know, that's pretty sad and funny)

When Jessica was in jail I sent her money and stood by her side. I went to visit and I tried to help her as much as I could. I went to court to support her when my mother would not. I talked to the counselors and I tried to help with what I could.

When Jessica got out of jail I was there for her again.....I was the only one there for her...she would always cry on my shoulder. The last straw was when she got together with James....she knew all the heartache I went through with him. She knew she was wrong.....but did not care.

The worst thing that she ever could have done to me was when she had Anna call her "mommy"..................


Blogger MilkMaid said...

God Dawn....have you ever thought about picking up and moving completely way from all these creeps in your family????

I'm sorry for you... ((hugs))

2:06 PM  
Blogger Crypto said...

I don't know. It sounds like you have given enough rope. The sister bonds might have to broken after that one. That is the worse. And, unthinking.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous notyourtypicalsouthernbelle said...

Of all the lousy things to do, that takes the cake. I'd never have anything to do with her after that. Poor Anna; I know she had to have hated having to call her that.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what comes around

10:31 AM  
Blogger Debby said...

I'm sure there is a special place already reserved in hell for her, and probably for the rest of your family as well. They can hold barbeques with my family while they are there. So sorry you had to go through all that hon!!

1:31 PM  
Blogger Brighton said...

Girl, I can't imagine. That is not a sister, not in the sense that it should be.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

What a royal bitch from hell!

I understand those "parenting child" feelings. I have done the same for my older sister. Understand that she in her sick twisted way, idolizes and covets your life. You have it so perfect according to her, so she's just gonna sidle up and inch her way into what she believes is a great existence. In the end she will again fall on her face because it isn't real. It is only an illusion of what she perceives is real. She still won't feel the way you feel in your life, which is what she's after. She wants to feel good about herself. You feel good about yourself. So to get that, she will imitate your actions (including the used man and ingraciating herself on your kid...It's sick, but real). I understand this having also grown up with an alchoholic mom and abuse. With my sister, it was because I was chosen by our abuser more. So everything I have, she has sought. She tries to either have exactly what I have(she shamelessly flirts with my husband), or the polar opposite (I'm a mormon, she's wiccan).

Loving the person that you raised will be something you carry. But honey, remove the "Welcome" sign from your forehead. You need to protect yourself. For whatever reason, she isn't that sweet girl anymore and could be dangerous to you or your daughter. At least take some precautions. Be safe. Take comfort that your joys in your daughter and husband are real joys and not some cheap imitation.

Sorry for preaching. Just a bit of brick road I've traveled.

5:01 PM  
Blogger harryfurness said...

You talk about the hate for your family, but why dont you tell us about your daughter and wonderful husband? It seems like you always get upset about your family why don't you talk about something you love. I bet there are good stories about them too!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Jericho said...

Different place, similar roads... walked them long enough to wear the soles of my shoes paper thin ... there are good comments above... take them to heart :) and take care~

3:27 PM  
Blogger chocolate bubbles said...

that really, really sucks. it just plain sucks.


just take anna and leave, girl.

11:42 PM  

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