Tuesday, September 13, 2005

James Part 14

I left the hospital with mom and my stepdad. When we got to the house I found half of Anna's things in the livingroom and I found the baby bottle bank that I was saving money for her in also in the living room....EMPTY!

I remember sitting down on the couch and crying my eyes out. Mom yelled at me and said something about not putting up with my post pardum depression and to snap out of it. This was not post pardum anything...this was wanting to KILL my sister. My daughter was not even born yet and "family" was stealing from her. What a life to bring a baby into. I wish I had a real mother that would have talked to me and then I may have had sense enough to not fall for a heroin addict and get pregnant by him and live in a motel with rats and live off of "theft" money. Never knowing what the next second of my day will be like. Now I had a baby as added pressure. Although, Anna was not added pressure. She was the only thing in my life that made any sense. She was my angel. She could not do any wrong EVER. I will be a perfect mom and I will do better than my mother. I will show my daughter that she is loved!

My world changed with her. Everything was perfect because I blocked everyone else out. Anna was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks. I was still in high school but I was on the home school program for a few weeks. A week after Anna was home I was back to my old figure and I felt good. I was doing my homework by reading to Anna. Home school was a joke! As long as you can read then they will pass you.

Anna was 2 weeks old when the cops caught up to James and he was locked up. This is the first time he was really locked up since we were together and I made sure that I wrote to him almost everyday. I was back in school and I was doing the best that I could for me and Anna.

Mom was getting on my case that I was never home for Anna.....I was in school! I did not stay after and I never went out without her. This is just one example of how stupid she can be. I did manage to get a job when Anna was about 2 months old and right around that time James came home from jail.

Mom had been acting crazy and Anna was sick but I could not use our phone to call her doctor because mom was at work and she made sure we had no access to a phone when she was not home. (I told you that she is a control freak)

I used a neighbors phone and this is about the time that I decided to move away as soon as I could.

I stayed with a friend and had all of Anna's things with me. We stayed there for about 2 weeks before everything changed and my life took a turn for the worst.......Some people say that children are too young to know anything...they are not smart enough...they can always bounce back...but they are wrong!!!!! I know for a fact!

to be continued.......

to read the other parts of my James story click here.

6 Comments:

Blogger annie said...

That is sad.
And you had a baby, you needed access to a phone for emergency!

9:11 PM  
Blogger not your typical southern belle said...

I don't know how you aren't crazy and gray by now! But I am so glad you are away from that ass.

9:28 PM  
Blogger delite said...

It's the stupid things that other people do that make us much better people!! ;-)

6:05 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Wow, I had to go back and read the whole thing. And I am speechless right now...

You must be a strong woman to have gone through all that.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Brighton said...

Your mother sounds like a complete tool. SO glad you escaped that!

10:02 AM  
Blogger Eve said...

WOW! You are one strong woman to acomplish what you have, despite your mother. Amazing.

Your daughter is beautiful!

10:12 AM  

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