Sunday, June 05, 2005

My computer hates me today

I tried to post a video but no luck there and now I can not even take the bad post off my blog. I can't wait for Monday to get here so I can go back to work. I am so tired of being home and hearing all the fighting. All I want is some peace and quiet. Is that to much to ask for? I think I am going to go walk around the mall or go to the park today. I think I just need to get out for a little bit. I have to many things going on right now and I just don't want to stay at home to think about it. There is to much cleaning that needs to be done but why should I do that on my day off of work? My diet is not working well this month. I have had so many things going on in May that eating right was not really possible.

My boss at work is giving me a hard time about taking my breaks so I can eat when I need to. She is making it hard for me to complete. I fell like I don't have anywhere to go not at work or not a home...I do not belong anywhere. I have an "office job" but no desk. I am moved around constantly at work to different computer areas. I need a spot to stay in. I work in the credit department and have access to many credit card numbers and info and I really should not be moved around so much the chances that something might get lost is very high.

At home with Greg's son moving back in there is just no room. I have no where to put my clothes...the clothes that are in the closet are to close together and they will get wrinkled...I have clothes at the end of the under the bed....purses everywhere...I am just going to get fed up pretty soon and I will start throwing away everything I see.

I need to get off the computer clean(throw away), go to the grocery store because I have no chicken for my meals this week. I am on the verge of breaking down and crying I just need some time to think about everything.

I don't want to go to my brothers graduation party because I fell like a major outcast but I do not want to give them the satisfaction of not going. My sister Jessica is not invited to Pauls part(that is his twin sister). My dad made sure that the party is on a military base so she can not crash the party even if she wanted to. I kinda feel sorry for her but I understand my dad's point of view. There is just to much drama in my don't even know a quarter of it(that will come later I promise).

As things pop into my head about the things my family has done to wrong me I will make sure I write it down so I can post about it at a later date. If I tried to explain any of it now you would just ask a bunch of questions and be totally confused....hell I am confused and I lived it!


Blogger TheBisch said...

Goodness! Quite the family drama! Here from Michele's... good luck getting your life sorted out.

One hint on the clothes: Garage Sale! :)

10:49 AM  
Blogger Cara said...

I'm sorry that you are feeling so poorly, Dawn! I can completely relate to having a dramatic family. The stories that I could tell about my family would make a good soap opera.
I also know how it feels to not know where you belong.
Just remember that you have your daughter and in her heart you will always have a place to belong. :o) Feel better! If you want to talk, email me.

11:07 AM  
Blogger annie said...

Well at least your sister will not be there to cause drama. I was reading yesterday's post and the other day...your Mom is mentally ill, right? She sounds a lot like my husbands Mom. His Mom favors her two girls instead. I mean, his Aunt practically raised him (his Auntis a sweetheart and like a Mom to us both.)and she told me once that my husbands Mom did not like him when he was a little boy. Sad.
I don't understand a family being like this!

2:12 PM  
Blogger Miss Cow is a Cow said...

Hello!!! Michele sent me! Hope your day gets better!!

2:56 PM  
Blogger JohnH985 said...

Get out and take some time for yourself. You need to get away, like you said, take a walk and just have some time alone without a million and one things and people wanting something or arguing about something...

Hope things calm down and you feel better soon.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Arch Storm said...

hmm... hope that you wil find somethin positive..we live stressed out existences dont we!

6:19 PM  
Blogger janie q said...

sounds like you need to find somewhere, anywhere, that can be a place of your own. what about a walk and find a park bench you can sit down by yourself with a book, or just sit there and clear your head.
i'm hating my computer this weekend too, maybe it's a full moon or something. hope things start to turn around for you soon.
hugs and kisses

6:34 PM  
Blogger Twist of Kate said...

Aw, sorry to come here and see you aren't having a good day/week, life? Just breathe! Don't cry :(
Keep us updated...take care

1:56 AM  
Blogger Martine said...

Hang in there love! It will all sort it self out, you are just having a down day!

3:15 AM  
Blogger Twinklestar said...

Hope you feel better and try not to let your family get you down.

Hugs, twinks

5:25 AM  
Anonymous Claire said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time right now, really hope things start looking up!

10:26 AM  
Blogger dazeymae said...

I was reading you, just blogged by from another link, and thought, OMG! I wrote this.

11:01 AM  
Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said...

I think you should get all prettied up and go to the party with your family. You are better than them, so just go and hold your head high with all you have accomplished. Their jealousy is not your problem.

3:33 PM  
Blogger J&J'sMom said...

Have you played the lottery yet? They say in the pick six your numbers should equal between 115 and 185 could get out of that small space????....Good luck sweetie...I'm thinkin' as hard as I can!

4:10 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

Dawn, I'm sorry you had such a hard day. Hang in there with everything. I just came across your blog today and love it. Great content and layout! I'll be back regularly I'm sure. :-)

7:06 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I want to thank everyone for the nice comments. I really thought it was sweet and really needed to hear some nice words.

Thank You!

9:48 PM  

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